Sunday, September 20, 2009 at 6:44 PM
postng my heartaches is really is stressing and tiring. so now, i'll just update the things that happenned during the past few weeks or days. id on't remember what happened eh ? seriously. ok during maths remedial dhiya and i sang liked crazy and loud in the class with speakers muahaha.....Apang quite retard leh. totally dunno what's going on. haha! so after that scolding scolding because lost wallaet and ezlink card. then must sign repoet book and i almost died!phew! but in the end my hp laptop ipod and everything got confiscated i really have a terrible life now. hope can get support from ppl cause its not very easy! especially what i heard from dhiya when i asked her what did "she" tell you? it really broke my heart. so unappreciated man! now i don't knw whether to belive the old saying" life is like a boomerang" " when you throw something out there it will be back to you even more. i threw everything? and i got T_T yep yep. so learned not to be so kind also haizZ....never mind i just need to smile and everything is fine i guess? by tuesday if it turns out positive or negative? whatever happens i'll leave it to god? yep.planning of going to church more often.. it will probably help me! AMEN! i just have to give everything my widest smile! YEAH
Saturday, September 19, 2009 at 5:48 AM
WTH? yah i am stupid. stupid enough to follow ppl like you who threw friends away when they are irritating so much for being down to earth and in the end just be walked over!. but i am lucky, lucky enough not to get too close to you like best friend. and the old saying is true there's no forever friends. you took so much advantage as though every single one of your friends now will always be there for you. someday you'll know how it feels. someday you'll realize. i don't give a shit anymore. if you think i'm the bad guy then so be it. i learned not to give to much to your friends. i understand th meaning of "balance" and don't drag ppl in because its none of their business i did not do nothing to them. pls grow up too! we're quits alright?your childish i'm childish what you doing to me is pointless and you i'm doing is pointless. understand? and don't look at dhiya like she owes all of your sec 2 gang a damn thing. she is just being kind and being a true friend. and attract other ppl? most of them say its not true is they are attracted to me one! HAHAHA.....
but at the end of the day i wanna thank you. i guess i found myself already and i really learned a lot of things from you. thanks you and i'm serious THANK YOU!
Friday, September 18, 2009 at 4:13 AM
i don't deserve this kind of treatment, attention seeker huh? so what's so bad about being an attention seeker? thought you know me so well. i guess its all wrong. you don't know how my family treat me at home and how they changed. i always lean on you first, whenever i'm so down. i wasnt scared to do anything when i'm with you its always fun to be with you until i get carried away maybe thats why i go crazy but in the end of the day what? the ones who give you laughter will be the ones that suffer in the end. you know when you have these bad points? i ignore them, why? i know you can change and the way i see you how treat your friends and how friendly and lovable you were. i look up to you a lot. whenever i see you hyper already did you made my day. being kind as i know pple say, is not good when its too much its like a poison it almost killed me. but fortunately it just broke my heart. i bet you never put yourself into others shoe before you judge them. have you ever heard me say " you so ugly" or " i dont like you, you changed" the answer is NO! i never did that. i never want you to get hurt. what's happening now? its only i waste of time and energy. at the end of the day its not all worth it to get angry back. i hope your satisfie, i thought i was only dreaming or i hope i was only dreaming i want to wake up so badlly. its hard to tak this thing out of my mind. and its now a barrier and big barrier to do things i want to do. you what is worst being a atttetion seeker ar a liar and a betrayer? and one more thing, dont drag those who are close to you. they have absolutely nothing to do with this. how would you feel if you met someone who you think is a good role model of being a true friend and suddenly you realize she is betraying you? of course you'd feel used and shocked won't you? try putting yourself in a kind of situation that i'm haveng now. lets switch life for a while. so you'll know how it hurts to the core (J)
how about you? "erm i'll just forgive you" those were the last words that was sent by via sms from you. i felt happy. but. the next day i saw you? i realize everything is actually fake! its hurts to the core to. but i have to bare with it. as you know i bare with it for as long as i can! until it hurts already! you made me look stupid! i did not know being too much of a joker would cause me so much pain too, i guess i loved you too. NO. i LOVED YOU. but you did not appreciate it. now, go away. you really think i deserve this kind if treatment? i almost beg on my knees while i was following your friends. but she just kept on running away. it made me look like an idiot too. did you try putting yourself into other pple's shoes too. if only you know how it feels. oh yeah one moer thing too, when you saw me cry begging for forgiveness which actually was not right, how could you stand to laugh. she said i was an attetion seeker, you should have seen the show i've made just now. you could have laughed even more. and i could have been hurt too. no, actually i was very hurt. you dd not care thanks a lot! if you were there while i was doing my show infront of those ppl from 4th floor to 1st floor you would have thanked me too.(L)
Hey you, hi you've been a good friend i enjoyes hanging out with you too. t'was so fun ithought you were trustworthy too. what kills me me is to see u lie and betray i called you and asked " are with (J) and (L) ? and then you said " no i am alone now" oh really? you were? and then i was at the 4th floor coridor just to see you with them. have i done something to you before? why did you betray me? was i a bad company? all the while i did not know i was stupid enough to trust you. it hurts too cause i've never done anything to you and yet you have the guts to treat me like . we really looked stupid did not we? HAHA! its funny how you all see my cry. don't worry i am sure that's the last joke that will ever make you laugh to see my distaught face and see me cry.
THANKS A LOT! I LEARNED A LOT!
GOODBYE, lets swallow all the memories together!
at 4:13 AM
at 4:13 AM
Monday, September 14, 2009 at 7:26 AM
i want to cry lah! what is this drifting away from the ones i love! i did not know i would not be able to handle this. i cant even control my emotions already! i want to cry. did i change or what? i really dunno! the i wanna set things right and i'm sure you all want too! but how are we going to do so if we dont even talk to each other and treat one another as if we are same kind of strangers? can we stop doing this thing already everything has change! did you even notice? i bet you noticed but why is what your acting as if you don't care? how about me i'm left aside? i bet you did not think i'll be lonely and do you know how difficult it is to be lonely? as in lonely meaning your love ones leave you alone.whereas we should be hanging out together, caring for each other, having fun together and messing up? do you guys even know how much i miss those days and how much i want it back? why do we need to get to the point where one of us must get hurt? you remember how it started and how much we had back those days? but now what? just because i guess i made a mistake, everything will just change because of this? its what i did to myself not to you but i guess it made you feel it too but i was stubborn i did not care I AM SORRY! A MILLIONS TIMES! I REPEAT! I AM SORRY! but did you guys even think how lonely i was and hurt that very day?
look i am not angry or anything...... i just feel really sad! really very very sad! we can talk this over anytime.
c'mon , lets just set things right we don't want this to get worse don't we?
remember we always loved it whenever when we are together!
at 7:07 AM
waddup ladies. i'm very bored nothing much to study. i guess its been ages since the last time i updated! o.0 haizz...but great news! i've c-box now! so tag tag tag tag! always alright?
school's great was not late everything perfectly fine haha. today tripped xinyi a bit with dhiya and some boys like arnold and shazani.hahah ok so let me high light what what we did to xinyi today
arnold took her mirror and vandalize it
snatched her place sat on it and then i vandalize her table and wrote xinyi love arnold forver
then she had hard time getting back her precious mirror from arnold
i took her wwallet and then snatched all the money inside distrubuted to the boys and shaz
shaz took $2 from her and never returned it back
when she managed to take her mirror from arnold she want to sit down i pulled chair backwards and *BOOM*!
hey butt smashed on the floor muahaha!!! dhiya and i laughed at her she did not even get pissed or anything
hahaha!! anyways i want to uppload pics for the first time i dun have any latest today so upload the ols ones which i think nobody had seen before haha!! sorry blogger's not loadin properly so i'll just upload pics another time
Labels: whatever you want i don't care anymore you almost made me cry are sure everything's fine
Saturday, September 5, 2009 at 11:43 PM
at 8:39 AM
Sadly my days have been so boring haizz.....ibut EOY is like few weeks from now and i can't do nothing but stare at the calendar and do count down. I have no interest in studying now, though i wanted to go to express so badly. I dunno whats so good about it but i guess i'll cry my painless heart out if i wouldn't make it. so moving on, family problems finally gone! so everything's back to normal except for the fact that i'm still lazy and its compulsory for me to do house chores and not remembering i if have done one of it yet. ok so back from going to express, if i ever wouldn't make it i think i'll shoose to be bum, ok now so i have 3 choices of them is to be hmm......musician?athelete?or maybe alcoholic woman? i think being alcoholic is cool! muahaha! so why did i say so? "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"yes! muahahaha.......actually this was suppose to be yesterdays post but, my brainless sis needed to use for some piece oh shit. ok so uhm uhm uhm uhm,,,,WHAT?! oh i know i remeber i need to go church later!
Labels: "A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking. "
Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 2:01 AM
uhm i think 1st-ly just wish wanqi happy b-day. i hope she'll stay as a happy girl forever hehehe...i gave her keychain its actually her initial and forgot to remove the price tag. hehe.and also a pirate pig i find it cute. (cuter then her) haha! she said she liked to thats why she rated it 5.0/10 hahah joking joking! and s everything cost me below $30 so my best friend jordan paid for everything! HE"S SO NICE.SO DOWN TO EARTH.
yesterday, celebrated teachers day! so fun! except for the stupid dancing. t'was so boring some more we stand through out the whole thing until we finished everthing which took us for 1h-1.5h. its so annoying! then after that had the teachers day celebration concert!
So fun men! it was total shockers to see trecia dance! i mean i never thought she'd turn up very hot! she's really good in dancing! it even made my hair stand man! woaw so unforgettable! haha GO TRECIA!(i dun really know how to spell her name)
after that, went back to primary school! woaw so fun now i know how it feels like to be those like xinyi (TMS) when she graduated and visit her primary school. was even more excited to see friends than teachers so i called it "friend's day" instead of "teacher's day" so in the end didnt really got the chance to meet the teachers. only friends. then hang out with some old friends masyitah and her friends forgot the name alr (sorry) and haida and uhm uhm uhm...afiqah! ah ah ! afiqah! yeah! so went back home.
then now, waiting for daphne childhood friends just moved here yesterday. COOL! anyways til here! bye peeps!