Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at 4:49 AM
Time and time again....My dad said there's no way that you can stop history from repeating itself again and again. I don't know maybe this is how god wants me to live my life. There must be love pain and sorrows, but the good about this is that i'll be able to find myself. Maybe, just maybe i don't know much about myself yet but is it me? whos trying hard not to know who i really am? or maybe its others. I'm becoming more and more sensitive now when it comes to "this" things because i went through it before. my heart has been torn apart many times yes i can put back the pieces together but the scar will remain there forever untill it finally breaks. i'm scared i'm really scared that "it" will happen again. The signs are making me weak the more i think about it that i'll just stand aside and give up even though it hasn't started yet. I consider myself as a loner now, a loner that has many friends. But if i'm down who am i to run to them and break down. The teacher always advice me to run to my family, but when i run to them i feel like they don't even have ears to listen to me ! My dad, my mom, my sis and especially my bro. mom and dad would always give advice, sis will always say that my problems are childish, my bro hates me... I've lend ears, hands and a shoulder to my friends and soak their tears without asking for something in return. But now where did they all go? i've no stable friends i really don't have any right now. am i being a emotional person or what? No but i can easily break down i'm most sensitive when it comes to friends. Even if they made me really angry as long as i heard a simple sorry from them it can make my jump for joy. I'm trying hard to be hard on them sometimes when their taking advantage on me. Help me god!
i've been such a rebellious child, i lied to my parents to protect friends though some might not even know about it. But above all these i hope my brother will love me. I miss him. I hope we are small kids forever, cause when we were... he's the sweetest brother ever he wakes me up everymorning cuddle me anything he can do to make me feel better and as i type this tears are running down my face
Had band today and i'm enjoying band now. But i still hate lessons though i don't know i can't seem to concentrate in class. but the good thing is that i can pass all the test now and hand in my homeworks. haha! I love school cause of band and i hope band loves me to. oh yeah happy b-day to yijun! i really hope that you like what i gave you though it took you forever to open it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIJUN! I WANT TO SEE YOU SMILE ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!! you're friends really care about you!
Labels: Life is just a chance to grow a soul.